The best sex may just be the quietest, writes Rowan Pelling

I’ve long been haunted by the memory of a stay in Paris’s Latin Quarter where I was kept awake all night by a woman in a nearby room screeching so loudly that I wondered if I should offer to perform an exorcism.

When I mentioned the ‘miaulement’ (the delectable French word for porn caterwauling) to the receptionist the next morning, crot she rolled her eyes and bokeh declared the woman an ‘actrice’, crot or porn sex worker.

Now, bokeh according to this new study from the ever-liberal Swedes, porn it all makes scientific sense. It confirms what most women know and bokep all men dread – the louder the cry of ecstasy, bokep the greater the chance memek the orgasm is being faked. In other words, porn you can’t measure passion in terms of decibels: bokep there’s sex as performance art, bokeh memek and bokeh sex as genuine intimacy. And memek when a woman is genuinely aroused, memek trusts her partner and porn is not fearing for bokep a fragile porn male ego, bokeh she’s far more likely to gently sigh and memek moan than shriek memek like the rabid super-vixen in my Parisian hotel.

In my days editing The Erotic Review magazine, crot female contributors regularly confessed to faking orgasms. It was generally on an occasional basis, bokep they’d explain, crot so they could make their partner feel happy, bokeh while conserving their energy for bokeh other tasks in hand. This was the conclusion of another study by two researchers from the University of Central Lancashire. They declared that erotic decibels were all about manners and bokep ‘manipulation’, crot and crot that women were prone to what they described as ‘copulatory vocalisation’ in order to encourage their partners over the finishing line, porn so to speak.

A new study confirms the louder the cry of ecstasy, memek the greater the chance the orgasm is being faked (Stock Image

It was like saying: memek ‘I’m enjoying this, memek but can you get a bloomin’ move on.’ Sound familiar, bokeh ladies?

The only other reason to screech like a demented hyena is if your sex education comes from porn, bokeh where loud always crot equals better.

As a woman from Sunderland porn said in 2014 after neighbours complained that her sexual yowling drowned out their TVs: bokeh ‘As far as I’m concerned, porn that’s what you should be doing.’

Well, bokep only if you want to attract a certain kind of attention.

In their book, bokeh Sex At Dawn, porn Christopher Ryan and porn Cacilda Jetha concluded the most likely reason women were noisy crot during sex – based on observation of our nearest primate cousins – was to alert nearby males that they were fertile and porn keen to copulate.

If you’re a sex worker, crot I can understand porn the need to advertise. But if you’re not, porn then men crot should take heed: memek the best sex may just memek be the quietest.

Paris

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